The Alchemist's Code by Dave Duncan

Embarrassment Quotient: Skyhigh!

• Please see the entry for The Alchemist's Apprentice. All of the factors there still apply, except that the cover is even worse!

Redeeming Factors:

• Please see the entry for AA
• Also, excellent mini-treatise on codewriting/breaking.
• I love it!

Synopsis:

Alfeo is back. This time, he is hunting a spy and a murderer who might or might not be the same person. The coded messages from the spy have been intercepted by the Council of Ten and Nostradamus has been put on the case. The arrival of an old acquaintance of Alfeo's signals the start of the saga. There is a repeat appearance by Alfeo's beloved courtesan. Also, there's a wonderful scene referencing the trials of the Knights Templar, with especial reference to good old Baphomet.

I highly recommend these to anyone looking for a fun read!

The Alchemist's Apprentice by Dave Duncan

Embarrassment Quotient: Fairly High; I'd give it a 4

• First, there's the cover. Boy, that's a great cover for a grown woman to be caught reading.
• Then, there's the light, under 300 page, read factor.
• Alchemist??? One of the main characters is Nostradamus. OK, that might be a tad embarrassing, but it is also really cool!

Redeeming features:

• Set in late 1500s Venice. Wonderful view of the period
• Reminds me of my trip to Italy in 2002
• Attractive main character: Alfeo Zeno

Synopsis:

Alfeo, an impoverished young nobleman, is apprenticed to Maestro Nostradamus in 16th century, slightly alternate Venice. Magic works, otherwise, the setting is fairly accurate historically. The plot is a historic murder mystery that requires Alfeo act as the eyes and legs for Nostradamus, who bears a strong resemblance mystery-solving-wise to Hercules Poirot. Alfeo makes time to visit his beloved courtesan in between sword-fights and visits to the Doge. It is a fantastic romp of a book and I absolutely loved it.

Quicksand by Iris Johansen

This book is much less embarrassing to be seen with than it should be. The cover is great. I love the sand effect. Unfortunately, Ms. Johansen has used this book to tie together her two most popular series: the Eve Duncan books and her paranormal romantic suspense series. The effect was a little bizarre. First off, the Eve Duncan books are incredibly stale. I'm sick of hearing about her search for the body of her dead daughter, Bonnie. So, I definitely sympathize with her husband's desire to have closure and move on with their lives. Adding in a psychic and a South American arms dealer makes the series a little schizophrenic. The epilogue's allusion to Joe gaining psychic powers was just the icing on the cake. I hate to admit it, but I can't wait to read the next book in this new multi-series. It's not that I expect it to be good; I expect a train wreck.

If you have never read Iris Johansen, I highly recommend her earlier work. I especially like the stand alone books that are not part of a series. Dark, romantic suspense books with strong women and hard, rough-trade men who love them. Yummy! These are New York Super Fudge Chunk for the soul!

Misspelled - edited by Julie Czerneda

This book looks about as embarrassing as it is. the whole nude fairy thing on the cover is a bit much. Another thing to bring a blush to my cheeks is that this is an anthology. I love the short story as a format when it is well crafted. I'd say about 60% of these were quite well crafted; the other 40%...not so much!

I'd recommend it for a quick read in the park or as emergency bathroom reading, but that's it. Not the best fantasy anthology, but not the worst either!

Date Me Baby, One More Time by Stephanie Rowe

Full Embarrassment Quotient!

Not only is this book cover bright pink, with cartoon people decapitated at the top, the plot is an immortal guardian of the goblet of youth finds out that she is the daughter of Satan while she deals with falling in love with a pretzel magnate who is trying to kill her. Guest appearance by a nymphomaniac dragon who wears earrings.

A fun romp of a book, with absolutely no redeeming qualities to repay me for the loss of 2 hours of my life. Oh well!

Otherland Series by Tad Williams

Humiliation Scale:

• 1 Tomato Face for being fantasy set in a future Earth

• 2nd for being a 4000 page, door-stopper of a tetralogy

Mitigating Features:

• an excellent series
• I've been wanting to read it for years
• interesting reminder of the !Kung Bushmen; refresher anthro course
• prophetic look at our online, virtual reality lives
• Did the creators of Second Life read this series? I think so!

Synopsis:

A evil cabal of the super-rich have developed a way to cheat death. Unfortunately, this leap forward is at the cost of thousands of children. An unlikely assortment of heroes enter into the Otherland VR simulation in an attempt to rescue their own friends and relatives from the predations of the rogue operating system.

Very very odd. After almost 4 thousand pages, I was very glad to finally finish this series. I did not ever absolutely love it, but this was a very well crafted world with plausible villains and heroes. As a self-referential tribute to The Lord of the Rings, it was enjoyable on that level as well.

I would recommend it to anyone who has a lot of spare time on their hands and doesn't mind investing a couple weeks of their life to this experience.